Better Than I Deserve?

“Better than I deserve!”

I try to mimic Dave Ramsey’s response to “How are you?” every time I can remember.

Earlier today I responded with “doing alright” before saying, “actually better than I deserve!”

I’ve been feeling negative lately. Stressed and tense, so responding “Better than I deserve!” usually uplifts me. Except this time it was questioned with a chuckle.

“How should you deserve to be?” came the reply.

I paused. Nobody ever questioned that response. I was thrown off. I replied with, “I’m in a good place.”

I am.

I’m sure the person that asked this wanted to keep me on my toes. And I admit, I failed.

I don’t deserve to wake up every day. I don’t deserve to have the wife I have, the children I father. I don’t deserve to have the job, the pay and the benefits that come with all that. As a Christian that’s what I truly believe.

I’m not perfect. I have faults. I’ve made mistakes, both small and grand.

So when I say, “Better than I deserve!” it’s not just a saying I spew out without actually believing it. Yes, I was thrown off – as most people are when something they say daily is questioned – but it doesn’t change how I truly feel or believe.

I’m better than I deserve.

Every day I wake up in a house that we worked hard for, so that we can give our family the shelter they need.

I wake up next to a wife that has been with me through ups and downs, through sickness and health, through financial burdens and success. To a wife that continues to love me through my continued silliness, stupid mistakes, past addictions and future failings.

Every morning I hug three wonderful kids, who look to me for leadership, guidance and a little bit of fun, and reward me with love, comfort, hope and laughter.

I drive to work at a job that pays me decently to interact with clients, and coworkers that look to me for guidance, knowledge and positivity.

Not to mention the family scattered across the Western Hemisphere that love and support me, even when I want to take their daughter 4,500 miles away from them, or their grandkids 2,000 miles away from them.

Every morning and night I pray to a God that forgives me for my past mistakes, my current failings and the ones I’ll make in the future. A God that loves me, that comforts me, that walks me through difficult situations, and helps not only others to forgive me, but for me to forgive myself.

I don’t deserve any of it … and I thank Jesus for all of it.

And that’s why I’m “Better than I deserve!”

One thought on “Better Than I Deserve?

  1. You do a great job with words, I enjoy reading them. Keep up the good work , so glad you are my grandson, thanks so much for all your help at the time I needed it. You are a blessing to me and Lis and kids are to. Grams


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.