Once again I’m going to show the world through my blog how manly I truly am.
Monday and Tuesday Lis and I watched an Oprah (told you I was manly) Special Report about how our schools are in trouble. The show was a rerun from early in the year but not being an avid Oprah viewer I didn’t watch it the first go-around. Anyway, Oprah spoke with Bill and Melinda Gates, who have the cleverly named Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, and who are trying to change students view of school and believe that school systems are not built for today but for when my grandparents went to school.
It was fascinating to hear about the number of students who dropout a year and that we, as Americans, had gone from being the Number 1 country in the world to the mid-20s.
Tuesday’s episode was even cooler as Kevin Johnson, not me but the ex-Phoenix Suns guard and my ex-favorite basketball player, was on Oprah and speaking of his “true calling”. KJ retired in 2000 to focus on education. He has launched a new campaign called Stand Up. He runs a group of schools called the St. Hope Public System and says, “If a parent does not want their son or daughter to go to college and if they’re not willing to do whatever it is to help their son or daughter get there, this is not the school for you. This is not the choice that you should make.”
I was pleased to see that my favorite basketball player of all-time was doing something even bigger and better then dunking on Hakeem Olajuwon in the playoffs (I’ll never forget that dunk!).
It also made me reevaluate myself.
I’ve been reading a book that was given to me by a friend of mine. It’s about finding God’s dream for you. While reading through the book two things continue to pop up. Writing and teaching. I love writing and have gotten positive feedback about my writing (though I don’t think I’m that great), especially while writing this blog. I’ve also been told numerous times that I would make a good teacher because I work well with kids.
I continue to struggle when I think about my “career”. It’s the only thing in my life that I haven’t found pure happiness in and am not totally satisfied with. I love my wife and realize I made the perfect choice. We have a wonderful son and every day I thank God for blessing us with him. I have a solid family that I love and I married into a special family that I love being around. So I’ve taken care of that part of my life. I’m pretty good in that category until the end of time. But then it comes to my job.
Unfortunately, a person’s job is a huge deal in their life. For some people it’s the biggest and most important thing in their life. I’m sorry, and maybe this is why I haven’t found my “career”, but my job does and always will come way behind my family (that includes my in-laws).
Nonetheless, you spend most of your day at your job and need a job to survive. So I’m stuck time and time again thinking about what I want to do and what is God calling me to do. Do I want to be an insurance guy forever? I enjoy the customers and the hours but that’s where it stops. I don’t really enjoy the business aspect of it. Sure, I hear it can be lucrative (and hear is all I do) but will that make me happy in the end? I don’t think so. We’ve learned to live and be happy on a tight budget that I don’t think a ton of money will change my happiness, just make us a little more relaxed and able to save for the future.
So I think about journalism. Do I want to go into journalism? I enjoy writing, I enjoy going to the sporting events and enjoy the fact that people usually find it fascinating that I write for a newspaper. The pay sucks but even teaching won’t be that rewarding in that aspect. The hours are usually horrible which takes a toll on me because one of the things I strive to be is a good father and I want to be there for my son at all times. I want to make every single T-ball, Little League, and/or High School game he is in, or any other afterschool activity. I would also need to return to school to get a degree in English or journalism.
If I choose the teaching career then I again have to return to school to get an education degree. And even though the pay bites, the hours are decent, you usually get summers off and most importantly you get the opportunity to make a difference in a kid’s life. The true reward of teaching, right? And that’s something I’ve told myself I want to do. Ever since Lis got sick I thought about being a better person and making a difference in someone’s life. Why not do it by teaching? So you can see where the Oprah show kind of hit home for me. I wouldn’t mind returning to school, I’d even sit in the front so I could focus solely on my studies and not on the 19-year old kids sitting behind me.
As you can see I’m a little confused and stuck. I can’t return to school because I need to support my family. I also tell myself that I think its too late to return to school but then I have to remind myself that I’m only (yes, only) 28-years old and could be done by 33 or 34. Possibly in my prime…hehe. I don’t know. Any suggestions or scholarships anyone wants to give me? Hehe.
I guess I’ll just wait and see what God gives me. I’m teasing, I know it doesn’t work that way and I also know it takes a little more praying than what I’ve been doing.
Thanks for reading my confusion and I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.