Since we last spoke Koby has gone on a whirlwind ride of success. Unlike in the past two conversations (Part I in 2006; Part II in 2007) we weren’t able to chat freely about everything. As Koby put it when asked about certain things, “The dog show circuit can be tough and like anything that involves competition, there be haters out there. Even for dogs.”

With that said, here now is my third conversation with Koby:

Kevin: It’s been awhile since we’ve last sat down and chatted. How have you been?

Koby: Well, first I want to say that I wouldn’t have done this interview with you if Mom didn’t promise me a cheeseburger. It’s been way too long since you last talked to me. How have I been? Well … I’ve won three Best in Shows; I was the No. 1 Flat-Coated Retriever in 2010 and 2011; I have been on TV in two countries – maybe more if you count last week’s show; I’m a Grand Champion, a first for my breed; a four-time participate at Westminster including last week’s Best of Breed win; I’ve won over 30 blue ribbons (first place) and over 100 group placements and as the late Johnny Cash sang, “I’ve Been Everywhere Man…”, like 15 states and two Canadian provinces. So … how have you been?

Kevin: Well this isn’t about me.

Koby: That’s what I thought. Oh … and I forgot one other merit.

Kevin: What’s that?

Koby: I also joined an exclusive club.

Kevin: And what club would that be?

Koby: The Mile High Club. Yah, I schtupped a Schnauzer on a red-eye from Knoxville.

Kevin: Nice.

Koby: She was.

Kevin: So tell us more about Westminster last week. I heard Dad called it the second best day of his life.

Koby: After my first Best in Show, I know, I know. You must feel proud. Firstborn bumped down to the bottom half of the Top 10 list. It was amazing. This was my fourth time at the Garden.

Kevin: Madison Square Garden right?

Koby: We – us winners – call it the Garden. Just talk to my eponym the Black Mamba.

Kevin: You mean Kobe Bryant?

Koby: Yeah, but I call him the Black Mamba. He’s cool with that. Anyway, it was nice to be at the Garden, once again performing like the Black Mamba, on the biggest stage in the world. Unlike the last three times when I was screwed by the officiating, I ended up winning Breed and moving onto Group. Best of all it was on Valentine’s Day so Mom got a little extra lovin’ of the non-sexual type, from the Kobster.

(Pictured below: Koby and Tony at Westminster, Feb 2011)

Kevin: And your buddy Major, the Tibetan Mastiff, won Breed on the day his owners got married, right?

Koby: That was kind of cool. Though it was my understanding that he was supposed to be the Best Man and I was supposed to be the ringbearer but whatevs. They got a lot of pub in the Big Apple from it and Mom was all dressed up for the occasion. It was pretty sweet.

Kevin: And who was the Best Man?

Koby: Only my Man! Mr. Carter.

Kevin: That’d be your handler Tony Carter?

Koby: First off … nobody “handles” me. Understand? Secondly … no, MY Man Mr. Carter.

Kevin: I think it’s actually Kotter … if you’re trying to mock the show.

Koby: Careful. I’ll pee on you.

Kevin: Tell me about Mr. Carter.

Koby: We’re like Scooby and Shaggy. Snoopy and Chuck. Pluto and Mickey. Eddie and Frasier’s Dad. Lassie and the guy that asked if Timmy fell down the well…

Kevin: I think we got it.

Koby: Tony’s cool. We travel all over the place, me, Major, my buddy the Rottweiler Burton who has since retired. Tony takes us swimming in his folk’s pool. We’ve had a good run since we started nearly five years ago. He says he’s going to show me until he dies … well he ain’t sharing my urn with me! That’s for me and my ribbons!

Kevin: So who’s got the bigger crush on him, Mom or Dad?

Koby: Dad by far. It’s like they compare text messages. “He texted me two sentences to your one!”

Kevin: Do you ever get tired of Dad on the phone?

Koby: Do you ever get tired of asking stupid questions?

Kevin: Moving right along …  I heard you have had some kids.

Koby: I’ve heard you have had some kids. Two in the last five years. Funny, when I knock up a bitch they call it “studding” myself out. When you knock up Lis three times they call it “overpopulation”. You humans have your priorities so messed up, I love it. I’m just riding the doggy-loving wave.

Kevin: So how many kids have you had?

Koby: Let’s see I bagged three bitches.

Kevin: Do you have to say the B-word?

Koby: I’m sorry, I “consumated my love” with three bitches.

Kevin: Nevermind.

Koby: Oh … that B-word. That B-word is allowed since female dogs means “bitches” and the word “bitches” are used freely in the dog show world. Again, you humans need to get your shit straight.

Kevin: Hold up … the sh-word is not “freely used in the dog show world”.

Koby: Oh right … this is why I’m glad my pups are out of the house. I don’t have to change shit to the “sh-word.” Anyway, I had three pups with the first bitch, nine with the second and seven with the third. That’s 19 right? Which in dog numbers is two less than what you’ve had.

Kevin: Tell us how this works. I heard they had to collect your “sample”.

Koby: Dude, I got a little nervous and needed some assistance. Well it doesn’t work the same for us dogs as it does for you humans.

Kevin: What do you mean?

Koby: I mean we can’t go into a room and watch dirty movies. There’s only one way for us dogs – doggystyle and if you’ve seen it once you’ve seen it all. So they had to bring in some doctor to assist. Kind of embarrassing, I see why you asked.

Kevin: Just getting you back for the stupid question remark earlier.

Koby: Touche.

Kevin: Six years ago you were quoted saying that you’ll never have a puppy of your own because “I’ve got too much partying to do!” What changed your mind?

Koby: Mom.

Kevin: How’d she do that?

Koby: She forced me to have boom-boom with this bitch. Oh and six years ago I also said, “I prefer the liver colored Flat-Coat Retrievers.” Well, two out of the three I bagged were redheads.

Kevin: You like redheads?

Koby: Are you kidding me? Christina Hendricks – hubba, hubba! Reba – that mouth! That girl from “How I Married Your Mom” …

Kevin: Alyson Hannigan. And I think it’s “How I Met Your Mother”.

Koby: Whatever … Lucille Ball …

Kevin: Got it. Tell me about last year’s plane ride to New York. Didn’t you have an embarrassing moment there too?

Koby: Not embarrasing for me. I got wicked sick. I barfed all over our breeder Kathy, then had the runs on the floor. Must have been the in-flight snack.

Kevin: Gross. How are you able to sit in the cabin?

Koby: I’m what they call a “service dog”. Service dogs get to ride up with the big boys.

Kevin: What were you servicing for?

Koby: I think it was IBS.

Kevin: Irritable Bowel Syndrome?

Koby: Don’t ruin my joke.

Kevin: Finally a couple more questions …Chandler is Tony’s assistant. Your thoughts on his parent’s naming him after the character on “Friends”.

Koby: He’s about 16 … in the prime of the sitcom. I’ll buy that.

Kevin: Since we last talked there’s been a Lia, Maddux and Levi. Your thoughts on them.

Koby: Love Lukas. He knows where he stands with me. He’s easily scared off so he’s cool. Maddux is wild but he’s wild in his own little world, for the most part he leaves me be. Levi, so far, so good. He’s chill. He likes to grab and drop my ball. I think it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Kevin: And Lia?

Koby: No comment. OK comment. She’s too much. There isn’t much that makes me uncomfortable but she’d probably be on the top of the list. She’s too busy and a different kind of busy than Maddux. Maddux minds his own, she needs to be all up in everyone’s business. Pet my back, stroke my tail, feed me snacks; she’s loud, she’s a pest and if I want to relax she’s there. I move somewhere else and she suddenly appears. I tried to slow her down once. That’s all I can say about that. I’ve given up now. I put my head down and walkaway. She won.

Kevin: Since we last chatted your older brother Micky passed away.

Koby: Okay, everyone knows we had our issues but I miss that mellow dog. He had his place. He was … he was the Levi of the Flat-Coats. Actually check that … I see Levi being the Rudy of the group. Micky was more like Lukas. That means I’m … next question.

Kevin: I think that’s it. Any last words?

Koby: In all seriousness, I want to thank Mom and Dad for letting me travel the world, for continuing to support me while I’m away from home, for continuing to love me and love what I do. They’ve been awesome! To my Man, Mr. Carter for doing his best to make sure I do my best. He doesn’t put up with my sh-word. He’ll tell me what’s up if needed and it usually leads to more success. To all of Tony’s assistants throughout the years for their continued help with prepping me. To all the judges that have rewarded my hardwork with ribbons and fancy vases. And to all my fans out there! Keep on keepin’ on yo!

Below is Koby on SportsCenter. Psst…he’s the “jumping dog”.

I’ve slowly been going through all my old blog entries and updating the categories for each entry. I’ve been putting a few of the ones that I find amusing, or ones that reflect upon a time in my life that was important or unforgettable, into a category called “A Kevy Favorite“. Two of those are the interviews I did with Koby, my parent’s infamous dog. They were amusing and paint Koby in a picture that I think if he were human he really would act and talk that way. Well, you’ll be happy to know that a third interview will be appearing soon. Koby just has to find the time to sit and lick chat with me.

Reading through all the old blogs I get to reminisce on people that have come and even gone in our lives; friends that moved away, relationships that have slowly drifted and ex-co-workers that I no longer work with. One of those was the Boss Lady, my unnamed boss that I aptly called “Boss Lady” when I first started this blog.

Well, I’m very said to say that the Boss Lady passed away too quickly on New Year’s Day from a short battle with cancer.

The Boss Lady wasn’t just that. She was a friend of the family. She was an opponent in our fantasy football league. She was a competitor in my annual NCAA tournament pool. She was a regular at our Hotel Johnson Casino Nights. It was truly sad to hear of her passing. It happened too quickly and left Lis and I with many  excuses for “We should’ve called her”.

My parents, Lis and I made the trek across the state to her funeral. My Mom was the lone person to walk up to the closed casket, blowing a kiss before saying a final goodbye to her dear friend.

I may look back at the tense times I had while working for her but the positive of what I learned from her and what she did for me and my family outweighs the tough times we may have had working for her. Of the four insurance office owners I have worked for, it is the Boss Lady that I most want to be like.

We’ll miss you Bev!

It’s hard to go from losing a friend to celebrating four dudes I’ve never met and probably won’t (even though it’s on my “Things to Do Before I Die” list).

As mentioned a couple of times last year, Boyz II Men are my favorite musical artists ever and really my favorite celebrities ever. On January 5 the Boyz received the first star of 2012 on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. What made it cooler was that Michael “Bass” McCary joined the now-trio for the ceremony. What made it even cooler than that was that my lil’ brother Randy happened to be visiting his in-laws in Anaheim and was able to speed on over to Hollywood for the ceremony and take pictures for me.

Congrats Boyz!

Again, I’m going to try to transition from Death to Celebration to Frustration.

In late January Lis’s youngest sister and her mom attempted to get their visitor VISA’s so they can fly up from Brazil and visit Levi and the rest of the family. Unfortunately, our wonderful people at the US Embassy in Brazil denied their request saying that Elen had no reason to want to come back to Brazil. She’s single. She’s 30. Why would she want to return to Brazil? Ha! Why would she NOT want to return to Brazil? She makes more money than I do! Brazil’s economy is booming and will continue to boom as they host the 2014 World Cup and the 2016 Olympics! But yah, she’d probably want to come here, work as a nanny or janitor and marry some broke Gringo just to have that taste of American “freedom”. Blah! It didn’t make sense.

It also didn’t make sense because of the way our government treats illegal aliens in this country. Here are two people that have their stuff together doing things the correct way. And these are the people you want to deny?! I see why people like to cut corners and do things the wrong way, because those of us that do things the right way often get punished. Yet, you can be illegal and basically be “free” to move about the country. Yah, Lis was pissed. I called her at lunch and asked, “You’re not burning my flag are you?” She jokingly said, “No…but the matches are in my hand.”

Now Lis and the kids will spend the entire summer in Brazil. I can’t deny her that, not after what my country did to her family.

So, Death, Celebration, complete Frustration … oh we had snow for five straight days! 

Real quick for those of you that are like my Dad and need everything the length of a Twitter Tweet please scroll down to the bottom of this entry to find my Five Goals for 2012. I think that was within 140 characters. Yah, Dad mentioned that I write too much but that’s OK, I kinda know who I’m writing to and know that Dad doesn’t end up in my demographic.

I wish I could write more often but sometimes the days are too short and when they aren’t too short it’s because I’m trying to catch up on sleep from the days that were too long.

That was random … I guess I wrote that because I’ve been meaning to write my five goals for 2012 but just haven’t found the time to sit down and write. Since it’s snowy out and I’m not about to drive anywhere to do anything, then I thought it was a good time to sneak in my annual Goal entry.

If you’ve missed out on previous years and the Goals that I have wanted to accomplish but more often than not I failed to, you can click on “Goals” on the sidebar under Categories. I’ve been trying to update all of my blog entries so that they are neatly found in one of the categories on that sidebar. This isn’t a goal of mine, just a little bit of Kevy Nonsense. Brought to you by Spotify, because that’s what I’m listening to right now. Booyah!

As I mentioned briefly in my 2011 Year in Review I believe (or hope) that 2011 was the “prequel” to a successful 2012.

But before I get into all that let’s recap my Goals for 2011 and see how I did.

2011 Goals:

Increase Church Involvement

GRADE: A

Let’s see… I do scripture reading. I’m a leader for our Youth Group. I help teach the teenage boy’s Sunday School class. I’m now the so-called Events Coordinator for the church, organizing events that will hopefully get the community involved. I’d like to think I passed this Goal with flying colors. There’s still much more for me to do so it doesn’t get a plus after the A but … stay tuned.

Find My Inner Handyman

GRADE: D

I mentioned fixing the fan in the bathroom. Oops! I also mentioned fixing up the garage. Ha! Like that was going to happen. I did help Erik hammer in the flooring for the Tree Hut he built for the kiddos and I did get up on the roof and watched him pressure wash my roof for me. My water heater nearly busted so I drove Dad to Home Depot to pick out a new one for me then held a flashlight for him as he fixed it. Lis painted the inside of our house and I got up really high on the ladder before freaking out leaving it unfinished. Uh … let me stop now as I’m totally emasculating myself.

 Get Snipped

 GRADE: A+

 I took care of this in May. Nice, quick, harmless procedure. My first stitches EVER. You can read that in a post I wrote on May 22 titled “My First Stitches”. Unfortunately I didn’t follow that post up with how I recovered from my procedure. Well when the doctor (and your friend) tells you to take it easy – take it easy. I sat around for the weekend, thought I was fine and headed to work. Turns out I probably could’ve used one more day off and a little more ice. I was sore. I haven’t been in as much pain as I was on May 25, the day after our anniversary. My stomach still gets a pit in it when I think about it.

Clear Out the Negative

GRADE: B

The only easy way to do it was to not put in your life or make it a norm in your life. I cleared that out, along with fewer social drinking moments. I realized that depending on who I was with the social drinking usually ended up leading to more negative. Church and my wonderful church family helped with this a lot. I love the family that we worship with. They are real, normal and caring people and often times I have more fun with them than anyone else. I guess that’s what happens when you have the same foundation of beliefs. I also began to not worry or care about the things that would bother me. We’re all negative at some time but I’ve done a better job than I had in prior years, thus the B Grade.

Become an Insurance Person

Grade: B+

Trust me, I tried to NOT become an insurance person. Things got so chaotic at work that I tried to find something else out there. I applied everywhere. I had six interviews and three were outside of the insurance industry, however, nobody wanted an insurance agent. But I’m different than the others! Uh sure! I finally gave up and decided that this is what I’ll be doing as my career. I’m an insurance person. I’m an insurance person. I’m an insurance person. Oh sorry, just reminding myself.

2012 Goals:

I couldn’t come up with a solid five so I had to bring back an old one that I promised would be gone forever and toss in an extra one for funsies. Once again, as I mentioned in my Year in Review, there were a few things that I felt were gaining speed as 2011 ended and were leading up to 2012. Four of my goals will deal with that.

Get the L’s to Brazil!

It will be three years in February since Lis last saw her family (video chatting, though helpful, doesn’t count). For some one that is very close to and loves her family that’s a long, long time. We made trips in 2004, two months after Lukas was born and in February 2009, five months after Lia was hatched. Levi is now nine months and we have yet to visit the land down under. Sure it’s like taking out another mortgage now with three kids but she needs to see her family and I need to get her there. Donate to our cause at www.sixweeksofbachelorhood!.com. I’m kidding, that site doesn’t work. I don’t think.

Lose Weight! Seriously!

Last year I said I would never put this back on my list of goals. I’m setting myself up for failure right? I hope not. Things are a little different now. We have a membership to the Y and for weeks after we got the membership I was shooting hoops twice a week, going swimming with the kids every Friday night and keeping myself active. And then the holidays happened. And busy work and snow and all of a sudden I’ve played hoops once in six weeks. Not good my friends, not good. Our hoops season starts up this weekend. I’ll try to continue to go every Wednesday night and Friday night and I’ll do my best to stop snacking after 8pm. Now that I’ve written it down I have to do it right? I’m at a little over 230-pounds (we’ll call it 233). I’d like to drop at least 20. I’m going to be in front of a lot of people in the next few months and I don’t want to look all multi-chinned so … wish me luck!

Taking Relay for Life to Another Level

As mentioned in my Year in Review I’ve decided to take the next step and become the 2012 American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life of Monroe / Sky Valley‘s Event Co-Chair, teaming up with my buddy Jerry “Big Dog” Dixon. Jerry and I both had doubts as we entered the morning of the 2011 RFL. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. My team was a disappointment. My heart didn’t feel in it. But then the event starts and you – using Jerry’s theme for this year’s event – “Think Back” on why you are there, why you spend so much time doing it, why you love doing it and who you are doing it for. It’s – using my theme for this year’s event – my favorite day of the year and I knew that if I wanted to make others feel that way, and get myself reenergized for the event that I needed to take the next step and become and Event Chair. I mentioned it to Jerry on the morning of the RFL and he said, “If you do it, I’ll do it.” Well it took some convincing of the ACS to allow us to do it but they did – thanks Kelly! It’s not often that two dudes are the Event Chairs, actually we might be in our district’s record books. Anyway, Jerry and I have set lofty goals. Goals above what the ACS has given us. I want to reach close to 300 Survivors, our event record is 121, that’s not very many considering we had 53 teams last year. We want to be close to $200,000 in money raised, our high is $156,000. I don’t think that goal is unattainable either. We also want to give people a reason to stay the entire 24 hours. To come for Opening Ceremonies and stay for Closing Ceremonies, which means upping the entertainment value. This is a goal I know we can reach. I’m looking forward to obtaining this goal. It will be a lot of fun and we’ve already gotten a ton of positive feedback. I’m hoping this time next year you’ll see a A-plus grade.

Church People ARE Cool!

I love my church family. I love them because they are good people, real people, people that don’t fit the stereotype of Christian churches. We don’t have cliques. We don’t have hypocrites. We don’t think we’re perfect. One of our members mentioned that he liked this church because the people were real. I joked that was because we were the ones in high school that either nobody knew or just ended up eating lunch on our own. We’re the outcasts and that’s why we all get a long. Anyway, I became the so-called “Events Coordinator” at our church last year. It’s something I wanted to do because I wanted people to know that they can attend church and still have a good time. Erik and Stephanie were our first victims realized this as they started to attend on a regular basis. I hope through throwing fun events that don’t scare people will bring people into church and introduce them to ol’ J.C. (that’d be Jesus).

Get Settled In

I spent a lot of time last year getting frustrated with work, attempting to find something else to do, nearly quitting, being told that they wanted me to stay and deciding to – after reading last year’s goal entry about becoming an insurance person – ultimately remain where I’m at. Now it’s time to get settled in, to figure out what I want to do and where I should be. I don’t know if that means remaining where I’m at or, like the RFL situation, deciding to do something I’ve thought about for years – starting my own agency.

Dad’s Cliff Notes Version:

2012 Goals:

• Get My Family to Brazil
• Lose 20 Pounds!
• Reach RFL Goals!
• Get People (Like YOU!) to Church!
• Get Work Figured Out

]]> http://mylisy.wordpress.com/2012/01/18/five-for-twelve-my-2012-goals/feed/ 0 kevyandlisy http://mylisy.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/2011review/ http://mylisy.wordpress.com/2012/01/02/2011review/#comments Tue, 03 Jan 2012 00:11:50 +0000 KJ http://mylisy.wordpress.com/?p=1039 ]]> Did you know earwax was hereditary?

I’ll get back to that in a little bit.

It’s my annual Year in Review and as I spent time thinking about 2011 and trying to find highlights from the past 365 days I started to realize that 2011 may just have been the calm before the storm.

Calling it a ‘storm’ makes 2012 sound bad though and I’m hoping that it won’t be bad, so maybe I should say the “rebound” relationship that leads you to the love of your life.

That makes it sound like work, the Relay for Life and church are the loves of my life and, well you all know I do love me some Johnson 5.

Let’s just say that I think 2011 may have been the warm-up to what I hope is a fun, exciting and successful year!

Why do I say that?

Well without giving away my 2012 goals (I’ll do that in the next day or so), I’ll give you a couple of examples that makes me think there is hope for 2012.

There were some disappointments in 2011, but I believe that those disappointments have changed a bit in the last few months and will lead us into a better 2012.

For instance, we had family issues that we dealt with for 11 months of the year. However, certain things changed around the Christmas season, including my Grandparents moving back from California, and it leads me to believe that things are getting better for the core of Johnsonville. Did I just beat around the bush or what?

Team Force was a dud this year and we threatened to walk away from doing the Relay for Life all together. Stephanie put in a lot of hard work in the Karaoke for Cancer fundraiser she does and only a handful of our friends and family showed up to support her and the cause. It was frustrating and in the days leading up to the actual event, I wondered if I wanted to do it. Instead, I made a complete U-turn and have decided to be the 2012 & 2013 Event Chair along with my buddy the Big Dog. You can read more about this in my next entry.

I applied for numerous jobs and had six interviews, three within the insurance industry and three without. I got accepted at one, my old office actually, put in my two-week notice and then was told by my current employer that they wanted to give me more money and a day to work from home if I stayed. I stayed. But still … I’m not giving anything else away.

One of my 2011 goals was to get more involved with church. Well I waited until September to kick it into high gear and now I’m the Event Coordinator, a Sunday school teacher for the teenagers and a Youth Group dude. All this leads me into a new year and more time … we’ll tackle this soon.

Finally, my favorite football team, the Indianapolis Colts, lost their first 13 games of the season. Usually it’s the other way around. Now they’ll end up with the first pick in the 2012 draft. Which is kinda cool because I told my buddy Josh that if the Seahawks drafted Andrew Luck then I may jump on their bandwagon, turns out the Colts will have that chance and I’m already on that bandwagon. The future looks bright but my heart may feel torn as they deal with what to do with free agents Reggie Wayne, Robert Mathis, Jeff Saturday and most importantly, my Man-Crush Peyton Manning.

But let’s not jump ahead too much, after all this is a 2011 Year in Review…or is it Year End Review?

For the Johnson 5, 2011 wasn’t that eventful, but in honor of us becoming five I’ll put together five highlights compared to last year’s 10.5.

I know, I know, we did have one major life-changing and eventful event that turned four into five but overall we had a bunch of mini-things that filled our 2011 highlight reel.

Our relationship with Erik and Stephanie continued to grow. We spent almost every Tuesday night and plenty of weekends hanging out with them. Erik built a tree hut for the kids in the backyard and they bought the kids a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge for their birthdays, which was a fun getaway for the seven of us.

Like last year, we got addicted to a TV show. Last year it was “Lost” this year it was “Friday Night Lights”. It was the only time I was able to get Lis to sit down and watch football. “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!”

Three other “highlights” you’ll read about in my next entry have to do with the time we spent with our church family, the interesting year I had at work and my decision to become the Event Chair for our Relay for Life. Oh, wait…I did win my fantasy football league for the third time in 11 years and finished third in my other pay league! That’s pretty sweet!

No. 5 – Lukas at the Bat

The outlook was brilliant for the River Bandits that day;
The score wasn’t even being counted, but the kids were ready to play;
And when the coach had put together his outfield and it wasn’t the same;
A sickly silence fell upon the parents at the game.

There was ease in Lukas’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Lukas’s bearing for the coach had put him at third base;
And when responding to the coach, “Lukas focus! Put on your hat!”
Lukas smiled, put his head up and looked at the kid that was at bat.

Ten eyes were on him as he began to play with the dirt;
Five tongues shouted back at him, “Wipe it off on your shirt!”
With runners at first and second there was only one spot to get him out;
So when the ball was hit to Lukas, everyone began to shout.

“Touch third Lukas!” came the roar from the air;
And Lukas touched the base and three outs was there.

OK … I really didn’t want that to go on for that long and the original “Casey at the Bat” was much longer so I don’t think I’ll rewrite the entire poem inserting Lukas and his T-ball skills so …

Lukas played T-ball for Little League and did a nice job hitting and fielding the ball. We just have some work to do with helping him catch it, but his baseball career looks promising.

One of the highlights from this season was watching him record three straight outs while playing third base (what I was trying to accomplish with the above poem). It boosted his confidence, boosted his coaches’ confidence in Lukas and lit up Lukas’s face.

When the team had its final two games batting from the pitching machine I watched as five of the first six batters were able to get a hit off the machine. As a Dad I didn’t want my son to be that kid that wasn’t able to get his bat off his shoulder. Instead, on his second swing he made contact for a solid hit, a total confidence booster for all parties involved.

No. 4 – Third Nipple Out!

I just wrote about this so you can click the link on top of this post that reads, “Third Nipple Out!” or click the link attached to “Third Nipple Out!” I’m really not trying to see how many times I can get away with writing the word nipple, I promise! And NO it’s not the same kind of nubbin’ that Chandler had on “Friends”.

Anyway, Lis removed her port this past week and we “celebrated” it as a sort of closure to her battle with cancer. She now has a nice 3 x 3 bruise on her left bicep.

No. 3 – Twenty Years of Boyz II Men

Okay, it sounds a bit cheesy throwing my Boyz onto the Top 3 ahead of my church family, my regular family, MC-ing the Monroe Fair Days Parade with the Big Dog, and a wacky year of work but there was something about that concert that made me feel so good.

We had invited my brothers, their spouses and Wes to join Lis and I at the concert but due to family drama (see: family disappointment) some of them wanted to go, some didn’t want to go and Lis and I decided we’re not going to worry about them and we’re just going to go. I’m glad we did.

Lis and I had a great date night and I felt that the weeks after the concert we were closer or more “in love” than we had been before then. I guess sappy 90’s love songs will do that to you.

The concert was a blast. I stood up during the Boyz’s entire set. I sang aloud. I danced. I had a wonderful time and the memory of it was good enough to put it No. 3 on my 2011 highlight list.

Oh and if you want to take a look at why I love me some Boyz II Men check out my Twenty Year Tribute.

No. 2 – Y-M-C-A!

A repeat offender! This topic was No. 10 on my top 10 highlights from 2010. Since 2011 was a down-year for highlights then it made it all the way to No. 2 on the list.

In 2010, we did the Y-M-C-A lip sync at the Relay for Life. In 2011, we entered into the Monroe Lip Sync competition, entertained a couple hundred folks with our costumes, dance moves and fake-singing skills and we won first place in the Adult Division. We also won $10 each!

Wes got us entered into a competition at a bar. We fought through some Diva Drama (see: family disappointment), found a replacement for Randy by the name of Scuba, and won $100. Thanks Scuba!

Since we took first place at the Lip Sync competition, we were invited to perform at the Evergreen State Fair. This time there was no drama, but Randy wasn’t able to attend because he was working across the state. Scuba was in school across the state. We couldn’t find any other replacements so I called on my six-year-old son, Lukas, and asked him if he wanted to step in. He pretty much had the moves down from watching us. Wes, Erik and I practiced with him one night. I felt comfortable enough to give him a shot. He was nervous leading up to the performance stating, “Dad, I really have to pee!” I told him that was normal and pointed to Erik and Wes who were both darting over to the porta-potty to do the same thing.

He surprised us all with his performance only getting confused once and only because I interrupted his rhythm by asking him to step over a bit. We were all in shock that he performed so well. I was proud of him for stepping in and knew that I had a future lip-syncer in my hands!

No. 1 – Big Baby!

Now to that earwax thing!

We officially became the Johnson 5 (thanks Billie for the name!) on March 27, 2011 when Levi Edward Johnson was born.

It was a stressful and entertaining 1-1/2 days of birth stuff and you can recap all of that in one of my favorite blog posts this year - and really EVER – my Diary of a Delivery (Parts I & II).

Levi has been a complete blessing. I love having three kids and am glad that Lis and I waited too long for me to get snipped. He’s the chillest little baby that I’ve been around. Though he looks like me (or Uncle Erik), he has his Avo’s (Lis’s Dad) demeanor and has my daily dose of earwax. Seriously, Lis asked the pediatrician about his consistent earwax. The pediatrician said it was hereditary. Lis nodded and thought, “Oh…that explains things.” I can’t help it! Every morning it looks like … nevermind, TMI.

Back to Levi.

He’s this big Gringo with the chill Brazilian attitude. He does nothing but smile, unless he’s not so sure about you – Big Dog. He falls asleep on his own (a first for a Johnson baby). He falls asleep fast and through the night and if his wild sister bops him on the head he gives a confused look, shrugs it off and moves on with his life. And I’ll throw this in there for my parent’s (and because Lukas reminded me), Koby loves him and they share toys together.

And he’s big! At his 9-month checkup he was 31-inches at the 99-percentile for his age. The average is 28.5 inches long and only 5-percent of boys at that age are over 30-inches. I wouldn’t think anything of it but every time a nurse or doctor looks at him they say, “He’s huge!” He hasn’t dropped below 95-percentile. As a sports-loving Dad I’m kinda excited for my future lineman, power forward and/or first baseman (probably a soccer defender). Now that I wrote all that I’ve probably jinxed him and he’ll be 5-foot-3.

I look forward to watching him grow and I look forward to watching our family grow in 2012.

The other two continue to do well. Lukas is mastering the first grade and spells every word that he can out. So fun deciphering the code: “I  W-A-N-T  T-O  L-O-O-K  A-T  T-O-Y-S”!

Lia continues to be a different species than anything I’ve ever dealt with. She’s stubborn, she’s hilarious, she’s girlie and she’s tough. She’s a lethal combination of Lis and her too-tough-to-be-girls sisters mixed with the complete wackiness of the Johnsons. Oh…she’s got an interesting future ahead of her.

Lis and I continue to truck along. Like I said, there are plenty of new and exciting adventures awaiting us in 2012 and I look forward to what they will hopefully bring.

The last remnant (discounting scars) of Lis’s battle with leukemia has been removed from her bicep.

And the best part? They let me keep it! (SPOILER ALERT: There’s a picture below!)

Yesterday Lis had her annual oncology check-up. The doctor confirmed all is well. Actually that’s being humble. He actually said he continues to be impressed by how incredible Lis has done.

For you newbies let me give you a brief synopsis on why he would say this:

In April 2005, Lis and I waited until the very last minute to take her to the doctor to see why she was whiter than me, getting random bruising, fatigued, and pin-point red dots all over her legs. We were told she had leukemia and that she needed to be admitted ASAP (more like three months ago) because she basically had 2-3 months to survive. She received a blood transfusion because, comparing her to a car, she would’ve been below the E on the blood gauge. When she was refueled she received non-stop intense chemotherapy treatment for 24 hours a day for seven days straight. To say it nicely, it destroyed her from the inside out.

The first treatment did it’s job and basically killed all the cancer cells. Our next step would be a bone marrow transplant, meaning hundreds more transfusions, blood draws, tests, needle poking and six months of recovery.

Except, quoting an entry from May 18, 2005, “It turns out that Lis may not have to get a bone marrow transplant after all. They sent her blood samples to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer place in Seattle, which is one of the tops in the world, and a doctor, which specializes in AML and is one of the tops in the world was amazed to see that Lis’ chromosomes are splitting and that her body is doing great and that her chance of relapse is very slim. This came as a surprise. Is it true? Are they right? I thought they said the only way to be cured would be a bone marrow transplant.”

So as you can see very good and surprising news. She went through four more rounds of chemo and in November 2005 was pronounced “Remissionized”. I don’t think that’s a word but it sounds cool though, right?

The oncologist had told us that we couldn’t have kids and then that we shouldn’t have kids because what it might to do Lis’s body, the baby, or reactivate the cancer. Well she bounced back so incredibly that he gave us the greenlight to make whoopie and whoopie was made (more than a few times! Can I get a … nevermind) and a baby was made and Lis was healthy and the baby was healthy and the doctor was more impressed so we decided to do it all over again – the whoopie part which accidentally turned into Baby No. 3, which has been awesome so … that brings us back to yesterday.

Her oncologist confirmed what I already knew – that Lis was amazing (brownie points? I think so!) and asked her if she wanted to have the port removed from her arm. Wanting to beat the year-end insurance deductible Lis agreed and this morning at friggin’ 7am we walked back into Providence Hospital, Lis’s home for most of 2005, to get her third nipple removed from her arm.

For six years this third nipple was a bump on Lis’s left bicep. She had started with a Groshong Catheter but it started to cause infection every time they went to flush it or draw from it so they went with the more permanent Port-a-Cath, a titanium port that would be inserted into her left arm with a catheter (tiny tube thing) that ran into one of her main arteries that went to her heart. As you can see my medical jargon is amazing. Oh and I know you’re all wondering … no, it doesn’t make the metal detectors go off at the airport. I know right!

She could’ve had it removed years ago but the price was $3,000 and well, at the time we didn’t have insurance to cover it so she left it in. It wasn’t such a nuisance unless you were like Erik and played the ol’ Twist the Back of Someone’s Bicep game which didn’t make Lis feel good and grossed out Erik even more. It wiggled, it jiggled and if you touched it you got the heby jebys but it did it’s job and we were happy about that.

The surgeons were kind enough to let us keep it. I wanted it as a keepsake, something to show the kids when they are older, something to put in the Hope chest, a piece of Johnsonville history. At first they said, “No” then shot me a look of craziness. Then they said, “Maybe”. I guess in the Operating Room Lis made one last push for me and we were able to snag it after it had snagged Lis. Thanks Schnuggiebutt.

But now it’s out and like I said, it’s the last remnant (minus the scars) of her battle with leukemia. As some of the nurses said this morning, it’s like she graduated. I’m thinking it’s closer to closure. Closure to cancer. You never like putting that out there, like talking to your pitcher during a no-hitter, but it sorta feels that way. All the milestones have been met. Remission, 5-year remission, removal of the port. So yah, I guess you can say that in a way it’s like a closure to her fight. Nice work Lisy!

Fine here’s the picture!

Geez, it feels good to be actually writing about what this journal/blog was meant to be for. It’s been awhile since I had gotten a chance to write about something Lis and Leukemia related. I’m kinda sad. In a way it’s a closure for my blogging too. The only Lis/Leukemia posts will be recaps. That sucks! Let’s put this thing back in!

Twenty years ago Boyz II Men replaced Bobby Brown as my favorite music artist and my life has never been the same.

I know that sounds funny but it’s true. If I had to list the three most so-called “pop culture” influences of my life I would have to list Boyz II Men, Star Wars and the TV show Friends” (watching a Season 1 episode the other night I realized I still Ross Geller’s haircut) and in possibly that order.

I’m a sensitive dude, the girl in the relationship, my mother’s daughter and I have to think the music of Boyz II Men kind of led me that way, or maybe it was vice versa.

In actuality, I never understood why more guys didn’t enjoy their music. It taught me a lot about dealing with the female species. As they mentioned in an MTV interview almost two decades ago, if dudes were having problems conveying their message to their lady they could actually write down the Boyz II Men lyrics and come out looking like a champ. I may have been guilty once or twice of that.

In early October Lis and I attended a Boyz II Men concert (yes, they still have those) and it was during the “pre-funk” when the DJ was playing all these 90s R&B hits that I realized I really love this music. I also realized that I missed it. They don’t make good love songs anymore, unless you go country (again – guilty!). I love that soulful R&B love jam. And I have my Mom to thank me for that. Check that, I have my Mom solely to thank for that as non of my friends (minus my brothers) have had interest in “black” music. I lived in Seattle in the mid-90s when Grunge took over the region. While everyone was hailing Nirvana I was busy watching Boyz II Men break Billboard records.

Mom grew up listening to Motown so it was only fitting that my favorite group would end up signing with the same label that some of her favorites (Smokey Robinson, Jackson 5, Four Tops, Temptations, Supremes, etc) made famous.

Boyz II Men have always been a part of who I am and who I’ve become and now with the release of their newest album, aptly titled “Twenty”, I decided I would take a look back at the group whose music, for the most part, has become the soundtrack to my life.

It was the summer of 1991 when I first heard the hip-hop, doo-wop of “Motownphilly”. The song was catchy and I quickly wore down my “CooleyHighHarmony” tape listening to songs like “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye (To Yesterday)”, “Motownhilly” and “Uhh Ahh”.

When “End of the Road” was released in 1993 on the Boomerang Soundtrack (my first CD along with Kriss Kross’s “Totally Krossed Out”) it immediately skyrocketed to not only the top of the Billboard charts but my own and it’s stayed there off and on for 18 years.

When a friend of mine who has a Facebook group called “Dan Paquette’s Music Obscession” asked us to name our top 100 songs of all-time Boyz II Men took up my top three spots, topped by the aforementioned “End of the Road”. By the way, if you’re a music fan then join the group by clicking DPMO and liking the page. We have a lot of fun ranking everything music and if you’re a Beatles fan (Bblah! Blah! Blah!) then you’ll especially like it.

Boyz II Men’s second album, fittingly titled “II”, was released right before I started my senior year of high school and my first experience with the word “girlfriend”. Having this girlfriend made me pay more attention to the lyrics and I started understanding what the Boyz were singing about – that four-letter word called Love?

When I was dumped in 1995 “On Bended Knee” was the song that eased me through my first heartbreak.

Boyz II Men’s third album featured “A Song for Mama” that I bought for my Mom for Mother’s Day. She cried and what I wrote above actually works for Mom’s too! It also featured “4 Seasons of Lonliness” which introduced Randy, Wes and I to lip sync choreography. This opened the door to our three lip sync victories in the last three years. How do you like us now?

Boyz II Men’s fourth album “Nathan Michael Shawn Wayna” did much like the single from that album “Pass You By” and passed us by without much hoopla.

While others tended to move on I stuck with my Boyz from Philly and gobbled up album No. 5 “Full Circle”. Like it’s predecessor it wasn’t a success but it featured “The Color of Love” which was about the time I met Lis. I was going through some stuff (we’ll leave it at that) and needed a friend. Lis was there and a Boyz II Men song was back to becoming a soundtrack of my life.

After the fifth album the Boyz lost “Bass” Michael McCary because of illness and then some disagreements and I was left with only three of the four Boyz. Luckily my man, Shawn Stockman, was still in the group and the three continued to make music doing three cover albums, the second being covers of Motown favorites.

Fast forward a few years to the concert that Lis and I attended in early October. I knew that Boyz II Men were still my favorite but hearing them perform, singing to their songs and listening to the soundtrack of my life I realized that the now trio meant more to me than just some group that plays music that I like to listen to.

They are a part of who I am and who I’ve slowly become. The concert was a blast and it was made better because I was there listening to these love songs with the love of my life, my wife What’s-Her-Face. I even caught her swaying to some of the songs. Score!

OK, so I’ve gotten a little cheesy so let me get to the countdown of my top 20 Boyz II Men songs of all-time. By the way, you’ll quickly realize why I wrote in the Sports section and not in the A&E section of the newspaper.

No. 20 – Vibin’ (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: No. 52

It’s a laidback tune that mentions “In a dark room with a blue light…” which at the time reminded me of the “Movie Pit” that we had at my parent’s house downstairs. A dark room with a blue “Movie Pit” light sign.

No. 19 – I Will Get There (Prince of Egypt Sountrack) – 1998

Billboard Hot 100: No. 32 (According to Wikipedia the Boyz’s last Top 40 hit).

Not much to say about this track. Just an inspirational song about not letting things bring you down and continuing to fight.

No. 18 – Thank You (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: No. 21, March 1995

My favorite Boyz II Men video because it’s fun and traces the Boyz back to their roots to where they were back in 1994. It was mostly a capella and supposedly was the first “fast” a capella song ever. All the background music was done by their harmonies.

No. 17 – In the Still of the Night (I’ll Remember) – (Cooleyhighharmoney – Reissue) – 1992

Billboard Hot 100: No. 3, January 1993

The Boyz performed this song on the miniseries The Jacksons: An American Dream Original Soundtrack. The song also reminds of me of my prom in 1995 when they sing, “I remember that night in May when the stars were right up above…”. Still, loved when the Boyz sang a capella.

No. 16 – Human II (Don’t Turn Your Back On Me) (Evolution) – 1997

Billboard Hot 100: Nope!

The sequel to Human by Human League, both songs were written by and produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. I like Human II because first, there is a killer a capella harmony type thing midway through the song and secondly it talks about making mistakes but I’m only human, I’m only a man. In 1997 I was making a lot of mistakes but heck, I was only a … boy.

No. 15 – Uhh Ahh (CooleyHighHarmoney) – 1991

Billboard Hot 100: No. 16, March 1992

I just realized that I probably lost most of you readers. Oh well! On one of my DVDs I have where the Boyz are explaining their videos they talk about how they were 19-20 year old dudes in bath robes trying to do a music video with models walking around and touching them. They tease Nate (dude with glasses) about a part of the video where he looks a little…how do you say? Uncomfortable? Anyway, one of those sensous love-making tunes the Boyz made popular.

No. 14 -  Can You Stand the Rain (Evolution) – 1997

Billboard Hot 100: Nope!

Just another a capella version of an older song. Supposedly this is the song the Boyz sang to Michael Bivins when they caught up with him backstage and caught the break that brought them success. Bivins was part of New Edition. New Edition sang “Can You Stand the Rain”. New Edition also sang “Boys 2 Men”. Yep, you guessed it. Where the Boyz got their name from.

No. 13 – It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday (CooleyHighHarmony) – 1991

Billboard Hot 100: No. 2, December 1991

Another remade song done a capella though this song fared better than its original. It’s often thought of as a good funeral song, though it plays well as a break-up tune as well. The original was featured in the movie Cooley High. Yes, where Boyz II Men got their album name. On the below video Boyz II Men and Jimmy Kimmel say goodbye to Oprah.

No. 12 – A Song for Mama (Evolution) – 1997

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, November 1997

A Song for Mama was Boyz II Men’s seventh No. 1 hit making Boyz II Men the only group in history to have seven platinum hits in the US. Let me repeat that, the ONLY group in history. Thanks! Oh…if you want to tell your mom how much you love her, play her this song. She’ll have tears! Promise!

No. 11 – Please Don’t Go (CooleyHighHarmony) – 1991

Billboard Hot 100: No. 49, May 1992

She’s left you. You’re upset. You finally realize that you needed her and don’t really want her to go. What should I do? Oh, let me listen to this tune! Answers!

No. 10 – Water Runs Dry (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: No. 2, 1995

My second favorite Boyz II Men video. The water has run dry, they’re running through the desert and an orchestra plays on a sand dune. Trust me it’s much cooler than that. Plus it’s another one of those signature Babyface-written tunes about not breaking up with me! It will be the biggest mistake of our lives. Now let’s sway to the chorus!

No. 9 – 4 Seasons of Lonliness (Evolution) – 1997

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, September 1997

As mentioned above this was mine, Randy and Wes’s first choreographed lip sync song. We nailed it and we still nail it! The first part of the song makes me smile thinking about how we had the dance moves down. I wish I had video on it. But again another sad break-up song. For goodness sake! Please come back! She doesn’t compare to you! I think about you all four seasons!

No. 8 – The Color of Love (Full Circle) – 2002

Billboard Hot 100: No. 51, June 2002

I talked about this song earlier. It makes me think of Lis and a time when we were just friends needing friends. Then we became close friends. Followed by friends with benefits and now she shows me a lot more than the color of her love, if you know what I mean. Geez it’s getting late!

No. 7 – One Sweet Day (Mariah Carey’s Daydream) – 1996

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, November 1995

One Sweet Day is the longest running number one single of all-time, remaining No. 1 for 16 straight weeks. Mariah was writing this song for her lost loved ones. The Boyz were writing it for their ex-manager Khalil Roundtree who was shot and killed in an elevator while they were on tour. The two came together and ended up writing the song I want played at my funeral. OK? Oh and I had Mike’s Nike Flights that he wore in this video.

No. 6 – Motownphilly (Cooleyhighharmony) – 1991

Billboard Hot 100: No. 3, January 1991

The Boyz’s first single featured them sporting their Alex Vanderpool gear and showed them in their hometown of Philadelphia along with the school they went to. Fun, summertime song that reminds me of when I lived in Hawaii and first heard the Boyz.

No. 5 – 50 Candles (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: Nah!

I’d sandwich acting out the song “50 Candles” right between Princess Leia’s gold bikini and Batgirl on my list of fantasies. Check that, putting them all together is my new fantasy. Anyway, just one of those sensual songs about lighting 50 candles and letting the candlelight guide you. Listen you’ll have goosebumps on the back of your neck too!

No. 4 – I Sit Away (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: Nope!

Written by one of my favorite artists Tony Rich, this song was one of those comfort songs that I listened to during a time in my late-teens/early 20′s that was feeling pretty depressed. If you could’ve seen in my heard you’d have seen lonliness. If I could’ve shown you my mind you would have been depressed. If you could’ve known what I was afraid of you’d have been frightened. Funny, these are also the lyrics in the song. By the way, Tony Rich does a good job of writing depressing songs and it was neat to see how he progressed through his albums both spiritually and emotionally.

No. 3 – On Bended Knee (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, November 1994

As mentioned above, this song helped me through my first heartbreak. It’s silly looking back and thinking about it but it also brings back that fond memory of thinking you’re in love and you’ve found your soulmate at the ripe age of 17. Ha! It’s the ultimate break-up song. Seriously, how many of you have held your pillow so tight knowing that you don’t need to be lonely? Guilty! The only drawback about “On Bended Knee” was that it bumped “I’ll Make Love to You” off the top of the charts and away from breaking a tie with Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You”. It did mean that Boyz II Men were one of only three musicians (some dude named Elvis and some dudes named the Beatles were the other) to replace their own song from No. 1. I think the Black Eyed Peas have since become the fourth group to do this.

No. 2 – I’ll Make Love to You (II) – 1994

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, August 1994

One of the top 10 romantic songs of all-time. Trust me when they play this song at the concert and pass out roses to the ladies you know your chances of scoring go up tenfold. Plus, the vocals are awesome. “I’ll Make Love to You” tied Whitney Houston for the most consecutive weeks at No. 1 (14 straight) and was bumped by their own song, “On Bended Knee”.

No. 1 – End of the Road (CooleyHighHarmony – Reissue) – 1992

Billboard Hot 100: No. 1, June 1992

My favorite song of all-time and yet it’s the one song I could never relate to. I’m sorry if you’re cheating on me, it’s not OK. I could never understand it. But the song ends with the Boyz singing the chorus a capella, my favorite part of any song EVER! Accolades? It’s Motown’s most successful single ever. It was No. 1 for 13 straight weeks breaking Elvis’s record of 11 for “Hound Dog”/”Don’t Be Cruel” and then later broken by Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” The song is also listed at No. 43 on Billboard’s Top 100 of All-Time.

OK…Kevin out but not with out some 1998 pictures of us at the Motown Cafe!

As mentioned, I came across this masterpiece a couple of years back while reading to Lukas and Lia before bed. They had gotten the book from a friend of ours and as Lukas grabbed the book to read I thought, “Oh good, a quick rhyming nonsense Dr. Seuss book that will have me done in two minutes and them laying in bed in three.” Not so fast, halfway through the book I began listening to the words I was reading and realized that this book has a much deeper meaning to then some of Seuss’s other books (though “Hop on Pop” and “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” are classics). “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” is actually a story about life and its many challenges. I thought to myself, “This is the perfect book for a graduate!” When my kids graduated high school I would present them with this book about life! They’d be so thrilled!

We’ve read it countless times since then and the book continues to resonate in me.

So as I was running out of boring ideas for the lucky two graduates (who probably wondered why I got them a children’s book and why I didn’t go with our first option of a gift card) I thought about this book and bought it. They’ll thank me in 20 years when they realize the same thing with their kids.

Since I like to personalize my gifts I thought I would write something from my heart inside of it. I shared this idea with my ladies at work (yes, my ladies. I’m the only dude in the department so they are my ladies) and they asked if I was going to write something Dr. Seuss-like. The thought previously dashed in my head but since I had only a lunch break to come up with something I didn’t think I could pull it off.

Well the writing bug inside of me clicked and I was able to come up with something. I was somewhat proud of what I wrote (mostly because it rhymed and it took me about 25 minutes). So I’ve decided to share it all with you. Below is my poem to the graduating class of 2011 (and beyond) followed by the transcript of the book. Congratulations Graduates!

“Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” Poem (OK, so the title wasn’t that great, but I swear it gets a little better)

The incredible photo above was taken by Todd Michael Kaumans, a senior at Monroe High School and an aspiring filmmaker. You can check out his Facebook page by clicking on his name. If you like what you see (and why wouldn’t you?) then like his page, help a local Bearcat out!

The photo above is actually eight different images all stitched together.  Kids Young adults are so talented these days. Seriously, I was so impressed with this picture. It literally captured the day.

And what a day it was.

As you could probably tell by my previous entries I came in to the 2011 RFL with low expectations. I left Sunday morning remembering why this is my favorite weekend of the year.

Personally it was one of the more relaxing RFL’s I have experienced. I was the Entertainment Co-Chair the past two years (along with the Online Chair in 2010) so I spent the majority of the time tallying points for the Team Spirit competition and running the events.

It took me away from my team for a big part of the day and didn’t allow me to relax and spend time with the family and friends that had supported us in the past.

I still participated on the Committee but this time I was only the Online Chair, which meant most of my work was done once the event was here.

This year I was able to spend most of my time with my team, walking, doing the events and relaxing. We had fewer people sign up so there were fewer people to worry about showing up to participate in events or bringing/eating food. People could come and go as they pleased and it didn’t bother me if they stuck around or not. I knew I was going to be there and as long as the Big Dog was the MC/DJ I was going to have a fun time. Mission accomplished!

Again for anyone that has never experienced a RFL you’re missing out! There’s a reason why it’s the best fundraising event around. If you want to experience a RFL then come out to our RFL. Seriously, Lis overheard a Survivor say that she comes from a long distance just to experience this RFL because it’s done so well. Another said that this RFL goes all out. That’s what I’m talking about!

You go through so many emotions throughout the day. From the start of the ceremony where Rockin’ Grandma Jan slides her hat to the side and raps out her heart-wrenching poem, to watching the Survivors walk around the track, then you’ve got a day full of fun that slows down with the always touching luminaria ceremony. And this year’s ceremony was one of the better ones we had.

Which reminds me…on Wednesday I posted “I Relay for”. Well let me add this:

I relay for my kids. So that they can grow up being a part of something so special and slowly learn about their Mom, how she fought hard, how she won easily and how she continues to be an inspiration to me, our family and friends and an example of the blessings of God.

Doing the RFL might get tiring but every year when I stand there watching Lis in her purple shirt make the turn with the kiddos in tow I start to tear up.

I let myself slip back to 2005 just for a moment and think about all the what-ifs and all the emotions we battled.

I shed a tear for Lukas, knowing that he was there the entire time. That she found comfort and hope in watching him laugh and play in a playpen stationed in her hospital room.

I shed a tear for my Mom and the hard work that she put in to helping Lis when I had to work.

I shed a tear for my family and friends that walked that journey with us and prayed those prayers for us.

And then I wipe them away and am welcomed back to 2011 where the kids whine about walking with their Mom and being surrounded by the sea of strangers wearing purple and I look forward to that day that Lukas is proud of his Mom and wants to walk with her and eat breakfast with her.

And then the fun begins!

I run the Rubber Duckies and Stephanie is ousted in the first round after winning last year.

I get splashed with water as the water balloon Erik and I toss back and forth springs a leak.

I dress up as Raggedy Ann and, along with Raggedy Andy (Stephanie), participate in my first Mr. Relay competition. It was a quick exit but I thought I gave a decent performance.

I get to earn blisters on my feet as I walk seven miles around the track talking with my family and friends. People at work ask if my family walks too. Yes, we don’t do anything alone. Lukas walked almost 5 miles, Lia checked in at 3. Not too shabby.

The usual suspects (Randy, Nayheli, Josh, Ian, Shandy and Jackie) all make appearances along with my Dad’s cousin Deanna, her husband Tom and kids Samantha and Casey (which was great because he gave Lukas someone to play with).

The most disappointing part of the event turned out to be one of the better parts when we saved Valley General’s lip sync and then put together a routine for N’Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye” in 3 minutes.

When the crowd heard that Team Force was NOT going to participate in this year’s lip sync competition the crowd all went “aahhhh!” They were bummed. I guess we have fans!

We didn’t have a routine and didn’t want to come up with something now when we could have more time to spiff something up for next year. Then one of the girls from Valley General was performing Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put a Ring On it)” with four high school boys. It was entertaining until the dudes bailed on her. I didn’t know if it was part of the routine or not. I guessed it wasn’t so I talked my brothers into running down from the bleachers and becoming her backup dancers. The crowd went nuts and afterwards we were thanked numerous times by the Valley General crew. I even heard a “Thank you. You guys are awesome!” What can I say? What! What!

Five of our six team members stayed overnight (Lis had to leave, taking two of the three kids home with her). Rosanne walked throughout the night. Mom danced for most of the night, and even though she always hates me the morning after, she knows that she has a good time doing the RFL. Erik battled naps and stayed up for a good part of the night, as did Stephanie, her cousin Emily and their friend Scuba (Steve).

The star of the whole show was once again the Big Dog (again, click on the link to LIKE him on Facebook). Hands down the best DJ EVER! As Stephanie said, “He’s very good at what he does.” VERY good! His music selection is great! He knows what song to play and when. All the songs relate to the time of the day (“It’s 5 o’clock Somewhere” at 5am!” Brilliant!) or what is going on at that time.

Plus, and I don’t know how he does it, I mean (and I’ll unleash a secret) I know he goes home for a quick shower, but at 4am he hits the nitro button and his energy level goes up another notch.

Trust me at 5am when the sun is coming up over the mountains and you just feel like packing up and going home, you need that kind of energy. I can’t say enough about him. If you’re friends with me and you don’t pick another DJ you’ll both disappoint me and you’ll be sorry.

He DJ’d Randy’s wedding, our friend Michelle’s wedding and numerous Johnsonville activities and people that didn’t know we were close to him loved having him there. Heck, we’re proof of the work he does. After our second RFL we vowed to have him comeback and we vowed that if we ever had a party the Big Dog was our DJ. It’s through the RFL that we’ve become buddies and he’s become an Honorary Johnson Brother! Thanks Big Dog!

I said I wasn’t going to recap the 2009 & 2010 seasons but I guess I will.

The 2009 season was pretty successful. Not only did we win our third straight Team Spirit title, we also raised over $4,500, had 19 people sign up for the team, had 12 people stay overnight, and we were introduced to La Fiesta.

I was pretty pumped coming off the 2009 season so 2010 was a letdown when we had just 12 people sign up and six people stay overnight. We had fewer contributions with our fundraisers but we still raised close to $3,900 (thanks to successful fundraisers) and we ended up winning our second lip sync title, thanks to Mom’s brilliant idea of having us do the Village People’s “Y-M-C-A”.

Still 2011 was a bigger disappointment as I got zero responses from my pleas for assistance. I came into the 2011 RFL thinking that this would be our last one, that we needed a break.

Well I took that break by relaxing more at this year’s RFL. And again, as I mentioned in my “Why I Relay” blog, the RFL has become what I am about. Why give up something I love for no reason? So now I think I’m ready to jump in and do something I’ve thought about doing the past couple of years – to be continued …

Ahh, 2008 when I started to write less and less, thus this entry on the 2008 RFL sucked and didn’t capture how big the 2008 RFL really was to Team Force. We repeated as Team Spirit champions. We raised our most money ever! Our bake sale raised $463 (most for a Team Force bake sale), our car wash raised $532 (most for a Team Force car wash) and our 80′s party raised $1,220 (we split it with Team Big Dog).  My buddy Dennis, who battled lymphoma throughout 2007, raised $1,285 in online donations alone. Remarkable! I guess the economy was a little more giving back in those days. Dennis also flew up from San Diego to participate with us. It was also our biggest year participation-wise. We had 23 people sign up to be on Team Force and 15 of those stayed overnight. Oh yeah, and we debuted our lip sync routine (“Backstreet’s back alright!“). We had a lot of fun in 2009 but 2008 was the year that got Team Force party started.

Let me lead you off with the Big Dog’s introduction of Team Force at the 2008 RFL and I’ll end it with a trip around our campsite.

Special thanks to Shandy for the videos!

Relay for Life 2008

Saturday was the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. And once again it was a blast! I made it the entire night for the second year in a row. And this year we had more overnighters on our team (15), more participation, we brought food (thanks Dad for cooking burgers!), and it all led to a repeat Team Spirit championship! Really there was no competition as this was the first year that every other team just didn’t seem into it. It was very disappointing but it didn’t stop us from having a good time.

Alexandre and Jackie took part in the talent competition doing a samba dance routine. It was very cool, though the little kids in the competition got much of the love. That was only the start of our day.

Randy missed out on a second straight Mr. Relay competition thanks to a little boy that ended up winning the title. There was no way Randy was going to compete against a little kid. Randy did pull out all his tricks and talent-wise he was the finest of the group. He answered the questions clearly and with humor and he out-danced the rest of the competition. But he couldn’t get any love from the audience who didn’t seem amused with his antics.

It was much of the same for Relay Idol as a young country singing ringer, who was all of about 12 years of age, won the competition. He was good and young and that combo is killer these days. Just ask David Archuleta…oh wait. Randy sang “Getting’ Jiggy Wit It” and again continued to try to get the audience into the game. No luck so it was Michelle’s turn to try to get everyone involved. She dedicated “I Will Survive” to the Survivors and when she asked if there were any survivors out there at least two clapped. Thankfully someone came up to her afterwards and told her ‘thanks’.

They introduced a lip sync contest this year so I thought it would be fitting if five guys from our team “sang” a Backstreet Boys song. Little did we know that the elementary school champions of Monroe were competing also! They did “Thriller” and knocked the socks off the crowd and us. We had a practiced for about an hour on Thursday and we hoped that our dance routine would be good enough to compete with the kids. Thankfully they put some energy into the crowd and we didn’t miss a beat (okay maybe a couple but c’mon!). We lit up the crowd, had a great time and did a fine job.

That evening we stayed up all night dancing the night away. Usually there are a bunch of high schoolers and/or some adults that stay up with us. Not this year! By 3:30am everyone had disappeared and Team Force was left dancing with each other. No biggie for us. We had a great time, showed a lot of energy and once again it led us to our second straight Team Spirit competition.

Thanks again to everyone that participated. This was my favorite Relay for Life. I had people willing to participate and excited about participating and staying up all night. It was nice to have some new blood on the team and it helped us in dominating the competition, though we would’ve had a great time even if there were no points involved.

Click to view slideshow.

“Why do you Relay?”

I relay for my wife.

By now you all know the story. If you don’t well then you’re in the right place. This journal/blog is named after my wife’s battle with cancer. It’s title, “Lisy’s battle with leukemia” says it all. If you’re looking for the beginning let me lead you to the beginning. You can read my first entry here: Like a Ton of Bricks

For everyone else I’ll give you the brief synopsis:

Boy meets Girl. Boy marries Girl in foreign country. Boy and Girl have Baby Boy. Girl gets cancer five months after Baby is born and not even two years after Boy and Girl get hitched. Girl fights chemotherapy for 24 hours a day/seven days a week. Girl whoops cancer’s butt. Boy decides he wants to attempt to make a difference. Boy starts a RFL team. Boy suckers his family and friends to participate in RFL. RFL changes Boy’s life. Girl continues to fight chemotherapy and cancer. Girl gets in remission. Boy and Girl have a Baby Girl that they shouldn’t have been able to have. Girl celebrates five years of remission aka kicking cancer’s butt! Boy and Girl have another Baby Boy. Boy and Girl celebrate eighth anniversary and hope the next eight are a little less hectic.

Yep, it’s your typical love story.

I relay for my wife because it reminds me of the battle we fought six years ago (though she did all the hardwork) and every year it allows me to celebrate the life she still has and that we have together.

I relay for my wife because so many of my friends, family and total strangers supported us during the toughest month of our lives.

I relay for my wife because it allowed me to make a difference and to “pay it forward”. The ACS Relay for Life of Monroe banner hanging across Main Street Monroe was the first opportunity I saw to make that difference. I guess you could say it was a sign – literally – of the difference I could make.

I would like to think that in the seven years I’ve been doing this that I’ve made a small difference. Not only did the team that I organized raise over $19,000 in seven years but the RFL also gave me a chance to share our story of hope with other survivors or caregivers that are just starting their battle.

I relay for my wife because our involvement in the RFL has allowed me to find a talent, love and passion that was hidden inside of me. Not only has the RFL allowed me to make a difference to others but it has also made a huge difference in my own life.

The RFL defines who I am and what I’m about. I would rather point out to a prospective employer the work I have done for and with the ACS Relay for Life than my job work because it defines me more than my job as an insurance agent (zzzz).

The RFL has allowed me to play a part in the small community that I’ve grown up in. And though I’ve always had my sometimes-annoying organizational skills, I’ve found that I have a passion for building relationships and friendships and it has also given me a love for doing charity work and helping people out. What can I say I’m a giver. Ask my wife.

All kidding aside, if anyone is looking for someone, or knows of anyone looking for someone, that is extremely organized, loves building relationships, loves working with and for the community, and has writing skills then you’ve found that someone. Hit me up here.

I find no better joy than putting together a FUNdraiser where people can come together and have a great time all for a good cause. I feel the need for a list (told you I was sometimes-annoyingly organized). Here are my top 5 favorite fundraisers that Team Force has thrown:

5. Karaoke 4 Cancer – Sorry Stephanie, had to put this No. 5 because I didn’t organize it. However, it’s been our most successful fundraiser the last three years raising on average $1833. Nice work!

4. Car Wash 2008 – Great turnout. Decent weather. Nicknames like “Rim Job” because Cory cleaned the rims. Spraying old ladies in the face with water from the hose. Working together as a team and raising $532 washing cars.

3. Enchantment Under the Sea 50’s Dance – Love me some theme parties! White t-shirts with fake cigs rolled up in the sleeves. Jeans. Leather jackets. Horn-rimmed glasses and Poodle skirts. We made $755 dancing to classic tunes at a great venue.

   
2. 80’s party – Love me some neon theme parties! Big hair. Alexandre as the Karate Kid on Halloween. Brian playing the part of Judd Nelson’s John Bender character in “Breakfast Club” and playing the part the entire night. A lot of fun music. $5 cakes going for $50. Combined with Team Big Dog the total night made $1220.

  
1. Empire Strikes Back 30th Anniversary Celebration – I heart Star Wars so this one holds a special part in my heart. I organized it in three weeks. I wasn’t sure if we’d get any of the 501st to show up. Instead we got Darth Vader, Stormtroopers, Obi Wan and Boba Fett. We held it at my church and it played the part of an old-time movie house to perfection! We had a snack bar in the back of the sanctuary. Erik and Stephanie took pictures of the guests in front of a perfectly drawn Death Star. It was amazing. We raised $413, which isn’t too bad considering the last minute planning. My favorite part of the night was watching Darth Vader and the gang walk in to the “Imperial March” and watching kid’s faces from ages 5-65 light up. It nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Where was I? Oh right…I relay for my wife because the money we raise doing our FUNdraisers could help someone going through what Lis went through or could eventually prevent someone from going through what Lis went through.

I relay for my wife because the RFL is the best fundraising event out there. We raise money for five months then we come together, usually on a sunshiny day in early June, and celebrate, remember and honor those that have battled cancer.

If you’ve never been to a RFL I encourage you, more than what I’ve written above, to attend. And if that isn’t good enough then (I feel another list coming on!) here are my top 5 events at the RFL of Monroe/Sky Valley.

5. Rubber Duckies – I don’t know where this came from. I don’t know if it’s just Melanie’s creation but Rubber Duckies is a fan favorite. You have a kiddie pool full of water. You have rubber duckies with numbers on the bottom. You have two teams equal distance away from the pool. You call out a number and they attack the pool looking for the numbered Rubber Duckie. I enjoyed watching Jessica manhandle little kids for two years while finding the correct Duckie. I enjoyed Stephanie winning the competition (because it is a competition) last year. It’s no holds barred fun!

4. Mr. Relay – See videos I’ve posted on my last two entries. It’s gotten creepy the past couple years because a 7-year-old boy has won, even besting Randy as La Fiesta, perhaps the greatest costume in the history of any Mr. Relay anywhere. Seriously…bring it! (Second best would also be Randy as Marilyn Monroe in 2007).

3. Lip Sync Contest – They added this back in 2008 which allowed my brothers, Wes and I to allow the lip sync ghosts in our closet to come out. We conceded victory in ’08. We won in ’09 and ’10. What’s better than lip syncing in front of hundreds of fans? Winning the competition in front of those fans! You can find those videos under my entry earlier in the month about my life as a lip syncer.

2. Survivor Lap – I have to get sentimental here because after all this is what the RFL is all about – cancer and those that have fought it. I always attempt to fight off my emotions when Lis takes her walk around the track with her purple Survivor shirt on. The Survivor Lap opens up the ceremony and it always takes me back to the month of April 2005. It’s gotten a little more emotional the last few years. At first it was just her and Lukas, which was extremely touching, especially when you see this bald mom of a 5-month old walking around the track. Then it’s been Lukas and Lia walking around with their mom. This year she’ll have a full crew with Luke, Lia and Levi and the purple shirt. We take this and my No. 1 event for granted because we’ve done this for years but it’s still amazing to think about how far she’s come in six years.

1. Luminaria – Bag pipes playing “Amazing Grace”. Bags lit around the track with names, pictures, messages of loved ones that have fought and lost or fought and won. That darn Vince Gill song, “Go Rest High on That Mountain”. As I said for the Survivor Lap, we’ve taken this for granted but if you’re a newcomer this is the event you want to be at. You’ll never forget it. Bring your Kleenexes.

I relay for my wife because if she wasn’t here then everything that I wrote above wouldn’t have happened and I’d be the exact opposite of everything I described about myself above.